Wednesday, November 4, 2009

She Makes Me Feel Like A Whore

Money and Sex have been inextricably intertwined since the beginning of time. The currency in question might not have been "money" but food, protection, or status, the idea is still the same though. Sex in exchange for something, or providing something in the hopes getting sex... it's pretty simple. Obvious, almost.

About a week ago I mentioned something to Nikky about taking sky diving lessons, no big deal. I'd wanted to take them for a while but it always seemed like a frivolous expense, hard to justify.

Yesterday, I get a text from Nikky with a list of times and dates.
"Which ones do you think will work?" she writes.
"What will work?" I reply.
"I'm treating you to sky diving lessons."
WTF?

I was pretty well shocked. I mean, that's not the way it's supposed to work, is it? And honestly, the mere suggestion made me feel whorish, cheap. Like I was a boy-toy to be taken care of, given treats or something. 'Go down on me and I'll take you shopping later.'

That's when a creeping suspicion came to me. I quickly reviewed my past few dates with Nikky and realized that she'd subtly paid for most of them. They weren't anything big, a movie here, a cup of coffee there... and somehow she'd always been lightning quick with the debit card, picking up the tab. Usually with a wink and a smile, "It's ok, you get it next time..."

Only every 'next time' she'd catch the check first, again. If they'd been closer together I would have caught on, but we'd only had a couple of actual dates (not counting 'lunches') and they'd been spaced out.

Had I been whoring myself out for weeks? For cheap?

Then I thought back to my last date with Jenn... I was late getting to the theater... so SHE BOUGHT THE TICKETS...

First I was kind of offended. Then I was kind of flattered; they basically value sex with me enough to buy me things? They take me out to dinner, a movie... I put out.

In some strange reversal I'd turned into a woman.

Ha! I can feel the glares from female readers through thousands of miles of telephone lines! But it's true, isn't it?!?! Cat's always talking about how cheap it is for her to go out because the men always pay for the dates!

And now Nikky is stepping it up to the next level, literally buying me lessons? As a newly certified female I'm not sure I'm ready for that kind of commitment. A date here and there is one thing, but I don't think I'm ready to have a "sugar mama" quite yet. I'm having too much fun "playing the field" right now.

Besides, in this economy you really need to keep your options open and sell only to the highest bidder. ;)

6 comments:

  1. Must you be so prolific? Especially when I feel like a lazy bitch. I mean there are things I’ve been meaning to write but I just can’t be bothered right now. I’m back from holiday and I’m not quite back into my tedious routine. Anyway thank you so much for saying you like my writing, I really appreciate it. I still haven’t finished reading yours but I do like your style.

    Everclear fan? “I hate the way I am around you. (I’m so nervous and weird).” Never a truer word was sung. LOL. I was into them for a while, I still relapse.

    I was going to email this but it didn’t quite work. I personally love coming back and finding comments. 2 comments is my personal best, yea!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Everclear's first album was awesome. Almost awesome enough to overcome the deuchebags they became after the first album. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Aww I liked So Much For The Afterglow. I saw them here in Melbourne when they were touring that album. One of my favourite concerts. They did, or Art did, get a bit "sensitive" perhaps even lame, though I hate to say mean things about anyone!, after that.

    I'm all about Jenny Lewis and Rilo Kiley at the moment. I have a lot of crying and sighing to do at the moment and she's a tonic/support for that.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hadn't really read that post when I left my first comment. Oh be a girl, it's so much fun! (I didn't get mad at your being a woman comment. I gave a cute, knowing smile). I always make "Uncle" Gaz buy the lattes (and one doughnut if memory serves). Fuck it! Even with a family he still makes more money then me. (Almost everyone does).

    I do feel a bit of a whore after recently getting a touch iPod from another man. We haven't even met, but he is smitten. Very much in love. Hmm. I know he wants sex (of course), but....ah it's complicated. I told him NOT to get it for me but he insisted. I do enjoy it.

    I don't know about you but these men ARE friends now. (Neither are lovers, yet). Plus I've bought them stuff too. (Because I wanted to, not for sex. Ooh yuck sex. I'm too shy to be any good at it anyway. And they know it).

    Blog on babe!

    ReplyDelete
  5. God damn it!!!! Ur a fucking player!! She is so sexually attracted to you damn it!!! U reward her with sex after doing things for u!!! N dun forget this quote!!! Be a GOOD GUY in the LIVING ROOM... BE A BAD BOY IN THE BEDROOM BRO!!!

    ReplyDelete