Wednesday, December 14, 2011

A Valuable Waste of Time pt1

In my work place there is a wide variety of age groups, the largest of which is early twenties. I swear to F'n God that half of the guys I work with have gotten their girlfriends pregnant and are in the process of getting married. Despite my best efforts to talk them out of the marriage portion (I can understand them wanting to get their kid on their work insurance, but most of them have no idea what they're in for).

With all of this matrimony going on around me I can't help but reflect.

I remember being a twenty-something, "in love", and ready to totally dedicate my life to be with someone else, to share everything in sickness and in health, blah blah blah... I remember the naivete. So, it's so frustrating to see these younger guys making the same mistakes despite the best advice they can get. Every single one thinks that they are different, that their situation is different, that they know better, that they're smarter or better decision makers. Us older, mostly divorced guys try our best to keep this younger generation from making our mistakes... but the words always fall on deaf ears. Damn, I'm feeling like an old man.

During all of these conversations I've come to realize the biggest problem that I have with modern versions of relationships, especially marriage, is that I hate not having a private life. It seems like every 'serious' relationship involves sharing absolutely everything with each other, it's like some co-parasitic relationship where both parties suck all the life out of each other.

I mean, these days if you don't respond to a text in the next 5-10 minutes you could have a serious issue on your hands when you finally write back. When I was married, there were times when she'd write me while I was at work, I wouldn't be able to write back, and by the time I did she was frothing at the mouth.

Did they have these issues back in the day?
"I'm sorry babe, I didn't see the smoke signal."
"Well, why the fuck weren't you looking for it!?!?"
"I was."
"Then why the fuck didn't you write me back?!?!"
"I was trying to avoid being eaten by a mountain lion."
"You're telling me you couldn't take two seconds out to reply?"
"... sorry dear, it won't happen again."

With this constant flow of information, with instant access to almost everything, it's like our society is wiring itself to negate privacy entirely. If it isn't public than it's shady, or secretive, or non-responsive, or being elusive, etc. If you ask for anything for yourself than you are one hell of a selfish son-of-a-bitch.

But is that what we really want? Is that what we really need? Is that why there is a record high percentage of divorces in this country? Would anyone be happy sharing ABSOLUTELY everything about themselves?

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