Saturday, February 25, 2012

Valentines Day

I know it's a little late, but I had an interesting conversation with a woman over Valentines day and I wanted to share it here.

She sends me this email a couple of days before Valentines Day telling me how much she loved the holiday and that she was kind of sad she didn't have anyone to share it with. (She's a few states away otherwise my response would have been different and I would have happily kept her company).

I wrote her back telling her how much I hated Valentines day and how relieved I was to be single.

I'll explain, paraphrasing from my email response to her.

Valentines day is essentially a lose-lose proposition for guys unless they have a lot of money or an easy woman. It's the day when you have to put your wallet where your heart is. A box of chocolates and a dozen roses... that's just a start. To all the guys out there, that is a trivial offering on the alter of love. Women are intensely competitive, if you don't give her ammunition for the next morning around the water cooler you're going to be in the dog house. There are only two options, you either buy her something expensive or make some grand gesture of love... in addition to buying her something.

Women have it easy, put on something lacy and put out. Poof, guy's happy. Men are such simple creatures, so easy to please. It's much harder to please women (physically and emotionally), and men are generally too stupid to make any sense of them. So what does hallmark come up with? A holiday where men have to prove their love. Valentines Day is like an expensive puzzle where the stakes are your love life.

Her reply was immediate: What are you, nuts? Women aren't like that! Buy us a nice dinner and we're smitten!

I pointed out that she wasn't an average woman. She's the kind of woman that's been in so many bad relationships that she trembles at the simplest kindness. The kind of woman that will date a guy who doesn't pay for meals. She's the kind of woman that guys love to date around Valentines day, because she is definitely in the minority.

So I wanted to put it to the internet. Am I deluded? Or is she?

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