Monday, June 4, 2012

Online dating

I was trying to explain to my ex the other day about how online dating doesn't work.  The analogy that popped into my head was an amusing one and I decided to try and share it here.

Online dating is like going to the singles bar with your mother.

Your mother will point out women that have good morals and suitable interests.  They're all unattractive.  You're looking at the attractive ones and realize that they are surrounded by men trying to buy them a drink.  There's one hottie, in a skimpy red dress, that is texting a couple guys while barely passing conversation with the two in front of her.

"That one likes dogs too!" your mom says.

"She looks like a dog," you reply. "What about that one?" You point to a decently attractive, bookish woman in the corner.  Your mom says it wouldn't be a terrible match, though the woman in question already has a daughter.

Then you realize the woman in answering emails on her blackberry from the other three guys interested.

At that point you look around the room and notice that the ratio is about 30 males to every decent female.  All the women are busy, exchanging texts and writing emails, posing for new photos.  The men compete for every moment of attention they can get.

"Lets get out of here" you tell your mom.

"What about that one?" she asks, pointing at the 240 pound behemoth in the corner, sitting alone.

"Nah, my chances in a real bar better," you reply.

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