Tuesday, February 5, 2013

A Little Explaining

I wanted to explain a little further about a couple things in yesterday's post.

First, I have never read "50 Shades of Gray", nor do I ever intend to.  My ex is a fairly laid back chick, but at a recent birthday party her and her friends got all giggly over the topic.  The normal, mature, motherly 30-something women practically morphed into teenagers before my eyes, grinning, blushing, heads together and giggling.

As an expert in women, I can confidently say that a "good" romance book (by "good" I mean arousing), or romantic movie, brings out the teenager in every woman.  Typically, the male character is dark, sophisticated, handsome, wealthy, and has droves of other women after him.  Those characteristics are practically required so that there is this drastic life change that overcomes him when he falls for the female character.  He's just so overwhelmed, she's overwhelmed.  That shit makes chicks wet.

It also sets up all of us "average joe" husbands and boyfriends to look like self-centered, out of shape, boring assholes in comparison.

That's not to say that men aren't just as bad as women when it comes to a good romance.  However, our version of "romance" in books and movies is typically a smoking hot, scantily clad, babe that puts out in between scenes of incredible violence.  In these books and movies she's either a helpless woman that needs to be rescued or a badass chick that's along for the ride, but that doesn't matter as much as her hotness and willingness to put out.  There aren't any plot twists or character development, just sex and violence. That makes dicks hard.

This also sets up the "average" wife or girlfriend to look like an out of shape, self centered, boring, cold fish in comparison.

There's something deep down in all of us that wants "romance", there are whole industries based around selling us these perfect, artificial, tailored versions of romance to the masses.  I'm not going to say whether that's good or bad, but I would say that when a persons expectations more closely resemble fiction than reality, it can cause problems.  Or if they are escaping the boredom of their current relationship with a fictional one that's better, that's going to undermine the commitment to the current relationship.  Just like a dude that's in a relationship that watches too much porn.  It happens, I've heard of relationships where that has been a problem.

That's what I was talking about in that last post, about people wandering the world in search of an unrealistic version of love.  An immature one.  The fictional version of love sparks those teenager hormones, a warm and fuzzy, something that just isn't the same in real life.

Just think about it, if some rich weirdo flew in and tried sweeping a strong, independent, woman off her feet she'd be looking around for the catch.  Is he some kind of serial killer?  If some dude was getting shot at the last thing on his mind would be a BJ.

I'm sure you have passionate love stories in your past.  Yeah, I said "past".  Those relationships are passionate, emotional, memorable and usually brief.  Those are the relationships that tend to end up in heartbreak and single mothers.

Then, look at all those people who've been in relationships for 30 years.  You don't see a whole lot of the things that inspire teenage fuzzies.  You see practical, compassionate, considerate, caring... it's more of a partnership than a passionate love affair.  That's not to say that it didn't start off that way, or that there aren't flashes of passion, but the relationships that last evolve over time into something more mature.

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