Friday, March 29, 2013

Anne pt 2

So... I was one of the reasons that Anne and John ended up going their separate ways.

Like I said before, both John and I had been interested in her, John just asked her out first.  Then, the three of us spent a lot of time together.

Then, there was the whole see-through shorts incident.

Then, there was the get-drunk-at-a-party-and-make-out-with-best-friend's-girlfriend incident.  Yeah, not one of my prouder moments.  We were drunk, things were said, things were done, and in the living room of a party is not a particularly private place to be fooling around with your best friend's girlfriend. Waking up on the floor the next morning was one of those wake up slowly, painfully, and only remember enough to be intensely embarrassed mornings.  It wasn't long after that they broke up.

Anne and I spent the last part of Senior year together and had an amazing summer vacation.  I was head over heels in love with her.

One of the things that fascinated me about Anne was that she was a very intense person and an intense feminist.  Like a "society is evil", "men are evil", and "sex is a bad word" kind of feminist.  We would get into these whole huge debates, not because I particularly cared but because it was interesting to get her all worked up.  I'd usually let her win because I didn't care, but we had these long, complicated, philosophical debates.  That level of intensity and intelligence isn't something I usually find in women.

I'd had sex before dating Anne, but those relationships hadn't lasted long enough for it to develop much past the awkward I-think-this-goes-there stage.  Anne was the first real sexual relationship I'd had.  Yeah, that was a really good summer vacation.

We were both living with our parents at that point, waiting for college to start in the fall.  That made a sexual relationship an interesting proposition, we spent a lot of time in cars, and in our beds before and after our parents were home.

There was a lot of "My mom will be home in 15 minutes.  Don't worry, I'll be quick."  And at 2 a.m., "Shhh... you'll wake up my Dad."

And yes, we were busted.  Twice.  Once by each set of parents.  I don't really want to get it, not particularly pleasant.  Let's just say that her bed was old and the springs weren't subtle.

At the end of the summer, she left for college out of state and I started at the local university.  Being young, dumb, and in love, doing the long distance thing seemed like a terrific idea.

At first we chatted a lot, wrote a lot...  I was totally dedicated to Anne, but after a while her responses got slower and slower.  It was freshman year of college, long distance is not a good idea.  She drifted away and I missed quite a few golden opportunities because of my pining for her.

One night a female friend who was interested in me came to my room.  That's when she announced that she had just gotten her nipples pierced, then pulled up her shirt and bra to show me.  She had amazing breasts and they were extremely perky under the circumstances.  Then she asked if I wanted to play with them.  Seriously, how is that for a pick up line?  "Wanna play with my new nipple piercings?" I passed because of Anne.  Talk about missing an opportunity, years later I still kick myself over the mental images of passing up on those breasts.  And Anne wasn't even writing back.

Then she came back for Christmas and we hooked back up.  That re-started the downward cycle over again when she left.  But it was inevitable, by the time summer break rolled around again we weren't really talking.

Then she came back for summer vacation.  Any guesses as to what happened?  We got back together.  It was another good summer vacation, though I have to admit there was a bit of a cloud over the whole thing.  She was going back to school in a few months and at least subconsciously I knew everything would be over in the fall.  Really, it was already over.  We were just summer fuck-buddies.  Of course, the heart, the mind, and the body are never really in sync.

And it was over in the fall.  We dropped all pretense and just stopped writing.  I dropped out of school, bummed around, and basically didn't do much of anything for the next couple years.

The funny thing about it all is that Anne completely dropped off the map after that summer.  That's the only thing that still bothers me about Anne, there was no closure.  I know, I know, psychobabble BS.  But I literally have not seen or heard ANYTHING about Anne in the past fourteen years.  She's isn't at home, doesn't talk to any mutual friends, and isn't on any of the social media sites.  Nothing.  She could have died in a car accident a decade ago for all I know.  For someone that played such an intense role, that I was so in love with for years, it bugs me that I have no clue whatever happened to her.  It's like a big question mark in my history.  Everybody else that played a big role in my life I have some idea where they are, what they're doing.  Not her.

So, Anne played a pretty large roll in my growing up.  She probably also played a large roll in my jaded view of women.  And feminists.  But we were young, so none of this story should be terribly surprising.




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