Saturday, March 30, 2013

Cock blocked by a fitness class

I'm taking a quick break from my nostalgic theme for a more current update.

As you all well know, I have been living a fairly quiet life recently, keeping to myself, and taking life a day at a time.  Things are going well, I'm making good money, and I actually like my job a lot.  I wasn't sure at first but it's going extremely well.  I've been working out a lot, going to the gym four or five nights a week.  Things are good.

As I've gotten more comfortable in this current chapter of my life I've noticed my awareness expanding.  Life is like an onion, the inner most layer is made up of the essentials of life. If you're starving or freezing, you're focused on fixing those things to the exclusion of everything else.  Until those things are fulfilled you can"t see anything else.  Basically the layers would be needs, security, wants, and eventually to comforts.  As each layer is fulfilled we start to look for ways to fill the next layer.    (And yes, my onion analogy is a bad rip off of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs)

Well, I guess I'm reaching the layers where a relationship might be the next progression.  I can feel my subconscious feelers involuntarily spreading.  I don't feel like I'm missing anything in my life, yet, with or without any conscious decision those feelers are worming their way out into the universe.  It's hard to describe, it's like walking around in tunnel vision that suddenly changes to widescreen HD.  Suddenly, you're aware of all these things you weren't aware of before.

In my situation it's women.  Oh, I always noticed women, but all the sudden it's magnified a dozen times.  I'm see them more often, in greater detail.  They aren't just there... they're everywhere, in technicolor, in big bold shapes.  Everywhere I go.

I take this as a good sign, it means that maybe I'm actually in a place where I might be ready for a good relationship.

Like I said, I go to the gym pretty often.  There are some classes offered at my gym that I take pretty regularly and there are quite a few attractive women that also take those classes.  I've noticed myself paying attention to one more than normal.  She smiles at me a lot, I smile at her a lot.  She has that spark, that instant connection, that we sometimes see in other people.  She's smart, and she's actually really, really nice.

We go to a lot of the same classes, so we've talked a few times before and after.  During one of those conversations I found out she's single and I've been really tempted to ask her out. Finally, this week, yesterday actually, I decided to finally ask her.

She had bugged me to come to the Friday evening class that I usually skip.  It was one of the easy, isometric classes, and I don't like the Friday night traffic.  But when she asked me to come, I realized that after an easy class on a Friday night I could offer to take her out to a drink.  There are literally three nice places within a block of the gym.  No sweat, right?

Well, yesterday was Friday.  I got myself all cleaned up, packed a nice clean shirt for after class, and headed to the gym.

Yeah, normally the Friday class is really relaxed, really easy, and laid back.  It's isometrics, so it's tensing and releasing muscles in different positions.  Kind of like a yoga class or something, not usually my thing.  It's a good work out but it's at a slow pace for relatively short periods of time.  Yeah, not so much yesterday.  Apparently the teacher hit his sadistic streak.  He picked out really awkward positions and had us hold them for a really, ridiculously long time.  Get into a squat and hold it for five minutes, then follow that with 55 more minutes of equally intense positions.  I was literally soaked in sweat.  Even the instructor was drenched, which I've never seen before.

When class wrapped up I felt absolutely disgusting.  Any thought of asking her out was totally gone.  I wouldn't want to be seen with me.  I could smell myself.  It was bad.

She and I walked out together and we did the usual good-bye smile and quick hug.  It might have been a bit quicker than usual, we were both gross.  She said good night, smiled, and hesitated a few seconds... giving me a perfect opportunity... Then she turned and walked away.

I really wanted to stop her, ask her to join me for a drink or two.  If not today than another day.  Or a witty comment.  Something.  But I was just so off, standing there in my cold, sweaty shirt, awkward and gross.  I mean, my shoes were practically squishing with every step.

Sigh...

Maybe next week.

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