Wednesday, April 10, 2013

A Romantic at Heart

I've long considered myself a romantic at heart.  Even when I was in my womanizing phase, juggling three women, there was a part of me that truly believed in the big "Love".  That a man and a woman (or whatever combination thereof) can find that special person that they match perfectly with.  Not that they are perfect individually, but that their imperfections match up, they are better together than separate.  They can grow old together, watch their children grow up, and when they die that person will be waiting at the pearly gates for them... (or Buddha's temple, or whatever version of the after life you believe in)  Part of me always believed in that dream.

Throughout the years the dream changed, it evolved as I grew and experienced life, loves, losses, and relationships.

I think one of the hardest realities that takes chinks out of the big "Love" dream, is actually falling in love.  Like in High School, we think that love is the big, concrete, forever thing.  We have the high school sweet heart, we're head over heels in love, we think it's forever despite everyone telling us otherwise.  Then, for must of us it's not forever.  We're heart broken for a while... Then, somewhere down the line we fall in love again.

Strike one for the "Love is forever" belief.

Most of us fall in love many times in our life.  Sometimes it's just for a night.  Each time we fall in or out of love it changes that core belief, it changes our happily-ever-after dream.  It changes our belief in capital "L" Love.  It starts to make all the romantic movies and books seem naive.

Now, I can't speak for everyone, but I can't imagine that I'm the only one that feels like that.  After all the relationships, the passion, the sex, the fucking around, that belief in Love has whittled away to something much more basic.  Sometimes, it seems like the closest to thing to Love would be a best friend to curl up with at night.  Some sex might be nice too.

I had a little time on my hands yesterday, I was trying to survive a nasty red-wine hangover, so I spent some quality time reading my old posts.  It was interesting, educational, and funny.  I actually laughed out loud a couple of times (and I don't mean "lol", I mean actually laughed out loud).

Reading through it all, I could see patterns swirling through every post.  That's where the idea for this came up, I was reading that evolution of my own Romantic ideals.  Each post, each date, each woman, every single one contributing to that evolution.

And although the definition changes over time, I still consider myself something of a Romantic.

(And yes, I have now created and used the Label "love" for the first time on this blog)


  1. Yes love does change and evolve in our minds over time. I've often felt sad about this. A part of me wants the love I dreamed of at 15 but in the end I've learned that the most important aspect of love is what you feel for another person. We get so hung on up on other aspects that it is easy to forget to just stop and smell the roses or in this case feel the love...

  2. I suppose the other way to look at it would be something like a reality check for expectations. There are still people who's vision of "love" hasn't changed over time and they are still looking for that 15-year-old-girl version of Love. I think those are the people that end up old, alone, and miserable because their expectation are immature and unrealistic.