Tuesday, April 16, 2013

What did I get dragged into?

I had a weird flashback moment today.  Do you ever have those?  Where you hear a song, or a specific sequence of words, and you flash back to some almost forgotten memory?  Yeah, mine was someone mentioning werewolves.

It was 2001, I'd just dropped out of college and I was spending all my time playing in my metal band, drinking, doing drugs, or trying to get laid.  My chief accomplice was Mike, the band's lead singer, he was pretty messed up in the head (aren't all lead singers?) and frequently got us into far more trouble than we intended.  We'd both turned 21, we were in a decent band in a small town, we thought we were pretty much invincible.  We were partners in crime, he was always getting us into trouble and I was the one always trying to get us out.

The two of us were a bit of an odd pair, Mike was the wild, crazy, outgoing one, always bouncing between different women.  I was the quiet, stoic, usually single, slightly responsible one.  It seemed like every week he was with a different woman.  What always surprised me was how awesome most of these chicks were; hot, smart, successful, independent, and yet they all fell for his line of BS.  Then, the next week she'd be gone and there would be a different one.

At one party Mike introduced me to his newest girl, Rachael.  She was this sexy little dark haired girl, all curves.  She wore these tight jeans that accented a perfect little round ass, and a short cut tank top that barely concealed two huge tits.  The three of us chatted for a while, she seemed pretty average for one of Mike's girls, decently intelligent, hot, confident and sexy. I didn't really pay that much attention since she wouldn't be around for long but I did catch that she was 19 and a freshman in college.

She definitely looked like a 19 year old college student, though I doubted that was the full story.  Knowing women like I did, I figured she was embellishing her age (give her a couple years and she would be subtracting years instead of adding them).  Knowing Mike like I did, I figured it was safe to assume that she was probably a high school student.  So, 17 or 18 instead of 19.  Whatever, right?  He's 21, she's 18, it might not make her parents happy, but he's not the kind of guy you'd take home to meet the parents anyway.

A couple nights later I get a call from Mike.  He's freaking the fuck out but won't talk about it on the phone, he just keeps telling me to come pick him up.  He's at a late night diner in town.  Come get him.  Right now.

My car was in the shop so I had to borrow my Dad's truck.  I showed up at the diner and, low and behold, he was with Rachael.  The truck is a small stick shift, so he gets in and she sits half on his lap, half straddling the stick shift.  That was amusing because every time I shifted I was rubbing my arm all over her thigh between her legs.  I bug him to tell me what's going on, he says it needs to wait until we get somewhere safe. He's keeping a watch out the windows as though he expects the cops any minute.

By this point his anxiety was contagious.  I had no clue what was going on but it was starting to freak me out too.  What was going on?  Had they killed someone?  Had he tried to rob a store and been caught on camera?  What the fuck was going on?

He's freaked out, I'm starting to freak out, so I drive us to one of my favorite get-away spots, a forested lot for sale just outside of town.  It was literally an overgrown little driveway that led to a tiny clearing deep in the woods.  If you didn't know where to look you'd never find it, a nice little private hideout (yes, I'd used it several times for a romantic rendezvous).

I pulled into the clearing and shut off the truck.  We sat in the cab, in the dark, and I demanded to know what was going on.  At once, the two started babbling over the top of each other.   Eventually, I got the two of them calmed down enough to get the story.

It turns out, they'd spent the last three days and nights together, bumming around at different friends' houses (doing plenty of fucking too, knowing Mike).  This wouldn't have been such a big deal except for a couple of facts: 1) She was still in High School and living with her parents, whom she hadn't talked to, so she was technically a run away.  2) Her parents found out she was with Mike. 3) She was only 15 years old.

Yes, you read that right.  She was 15 years old, maybe a sophomore in High School, and a run away staying with my 21 year old friend,.   I'd had some doubts when she told me she was 19, even though she looked 19, but 15?  I was shocked.  He'd known all along, of course, but kept that little tidbit to himself because he knew what it would look like.  Bad.  He knew it would be bad.  Not that something like that would stop him.

Furthermore, Rachael's Father had left a message with several of her friends, who got a hold of Rachael, and told her that he'd called the cops and reported Mike for Statutory Rape and various other offenses.  Mike was freaking out, Rachael was freaking out because she was head-over-heels for Mike, and neither had any idea what to do.

I sat there, staring out the windshield at the darkened forest for a good 10 minutes, just letting all the information sink in.  They clucked at each other like a flock of hens.  Mike wanted to make a run for Canada (seriously), Rachael wanted to go with him (but he wasn't having any of that).  They were with me, I'd driven them out into the sticks, was I now an accomplice?  What the fuck did I get myself dragged into?  I should have left them at that damn diner.

Honestly, I had no idea what to tell them, other than trying to run to Canada was stupid.

It was all just too much, what I wouldn't have given for a distraction.  I had a sudden vivid image of a werewolf jumping on the hood of the truck, roaring, tearing at the windshield to get at us.  One werewolf and all this other BS would suddenly be meaningless.  I mean, if monsters are trying to kill you then you're not worried about a statutory rape allegation.  Where's a stupid monster when you really need one?

Eventually we all calmed down, talked it out, and started to think somewhat rationally.  I loaned Mike my cellphone and he called an acquaintance that worked with the local PD.  Mike had been in and out of trouble many times, so he knew a few people at the police department.  According to the acquaintance there were no official complaints or charges against Mike.  Not yet anyway.

After a long discussion we came to the conclusion that we needed to get Rachael home as soon as possible.  Mike wanted to go to her house with her, have a man-to-man with her Dad or something.  Rachael and Mike thought that was a good idea, get things sorted out face to face.  I told them that was stupid.  After being missing for three days, the first thing an anxious Dad wants to see is his daughter home safe.  The last thing he should see is the statutory rapist that had spent the last three days with her.  Rachel and Mike didn't agree.  We argued for a while.  Finally, I told them I'm the driver, it's not their decision.  I was dropping off Mike at a friend's house, he should lay low and stop calling Rachael.  Then, I would drop Rachael off a block or two from her house and she could walk the rest of the way.  I didn't want to be seen with her, I was already more involved than I wanted to be.

So, that's what we did.  I dropped him off, protesting.  I dropped her off, sulking.  Mike managed to hold off his natural instincts, he could smell easy pussy a mile away, and stayed away from her.  Rachael's Dad never pressed the statutory rape charges.  Which means I didn't need to worry about being arrested as an accomplice, or whatever it is you call it when you enable a statutory rape without actually participating.  It was dumb luck.  In other words, we were young, dumb, and got lucky (some more than others).

In other words, it was as close to a happily ever after as we could have hoped for and probably more than we deserved.

And now, every time someone mentions werewolves, that scene in the woods comes to mind.

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