Saturday, May 11, 2013

A note for all the single ladies...

Time for a little bit of rant.  I might be drinking a little bit, so be forgiving.  Ladies, if you have sensitive ears or a closed mine you might want to skip this one.  That's it, disclaimer over, let's get to fucking business.

As you loyal readers (all two of you) know, I'm putting myself into the dating pool once again.  I'm in a good place mentally, physically, and emotionally, and I'm ready to add a relationship to the mix.  Or a one night stand.  Or two.  Or a friend with benefits.  Whatever, I'm ready for something.

So, I've been getting out of the house, meeting more women, and generally putting myself out there.  And I've learned a couple things over the past couple weeks...

One: Women are stupid.  Seriously, seriously, stupid.  Especially single women in their late twenties, early thirties.  They're fairly educated and career oriented.  They're generally out of their sowing-wild-oats phase, looking towards the future, and looking for something really serious for probably the first time in their life.  They think they're done with the bad boys, they're all searching for "Mr. Right" or "the perfect man" or "Prince Charming".  Really, if you don't believe me go look through some CL w4m.

Two: Women are stupid.  These women are looking for serious, wealthy, mature, perfect men.  There's no such thing.  Or if they do exist, they aren't single.  It's the same thing with perfect women, they don't exist or they aren't single.  There are plenty of decent, eligible men out there but they get overlooked for minor issues.

A perfect example, women want mature, experienced men... but if a guy's divorced it's like he's got a major physical deformity.  Like he was in a car crash that left massive scars all over his face or a gimpy limb.  Divorced guys are like a single woman's kryptonite.  Even if the woman in question is divorced, has kids, whatever... Which doesn't make any sense whatsoever.

These single women want smart, mature, stable, experienced men... Do you know what makes smart, mature, stable, experienced men?  Experience... Or, what many single women consider "baggage".  Bad experiences and bad decisions are what lead to maturity.  You do something dumb, suffer the consequences, and realize it was a dumb.  Lesson learned.  Life experience, baggage, is what makes us real people.

So, what's the big deal with divorce?  Is that any different than getting over any other bad relationship?  If you were dating for two years and break up, is that different than being married for two years and getting a divorce?  There might be more paperwork involved in the divorce, but the actual "baggage" should be pretty similar.

I'm scrupulously honest with anyone I'm looking to seriously date.  I'll tell them up front that I'm divorced and have a daughter, which is usually enough to ensure they'll stop returning my calls.  So, what should I be doing?  Lie?  Or simply omit some details?  Because that's the smarter way to start a relatively serious relationship?  If I was looking for a quick fuck than I wouldn't say anything, but for something serious I would start with honesty.  Yet, honesty is an anathema to serious relationships in my circumstance.  It's like a catch-22 for my dick.

Women are stupid.

So, what am I to do?  Wait and hope that women age out of their stupidities?  Or omit the details and satisfy myself with womanly wonders on a night by night basis?

1 comment:

  1. hahaha, Well I guess that makes us all pretty even cause men are really stupid too! They're just lucky they're so cute so we women put up with them. lol