Monday, December 23, 2013

Euro-trip Day 3 - Hookers

**A quick disclaimer on prostitution.  Honestly, I have no problem morally with prostitution on it's own.  I  do have a problem with the drugs and human trafficking aspect of some prostitution circles, but that's not what I'm talking about here.  We all do shit we don't want to do to make money, and if someone doesn't mind having sex for money than who am I to say that's wrong?  I've often thought that I would make a pretty decent male prostitute, but unfortunately there just isn't the market for heterosexual male prostitutes.  That and I wouldn't be able to stand being called a gigolo.  It's just a ridiculous term that sounds like a bad 80's hair style.**

I've been to a few different countries and one of the things that invariably attract the attention of my fellow male travelers are the hookers.  The first few times this happened I was in the military.  During a deployment there would be stops before and after for a little leisure time, these were places with a long tradition of American military presence.

The military invariably draws prostitutes, something that has probably been true for as long as there have been militaries, which meant everywhere we stopped there were plenty of women available.  The problem was we were required to utilize a buddy system to get off base, so you had to grab a couple friends to sign out with if you wanted to go to the whore house.  So, a guy that wanted to get laid would have to walk around and try to discretely get another couple of guys (it's technically against military law to pay for sex) to go out with.  Several times, I would dragged along just because they needed an extra body to get off base.  An interesting side note, in most countries if you ask the taxi driver to take you to the girls they know exactly where to go.

In most countries, the whore houses are not in the nicer areas of town.  In fact, they're usually in the darkest, seediest, creepiest parts of town.  The kind of areas where you're pretty sure a wrong turn would get you knifed in a dark alley.  You get out of the taxi, walk to the unmarked door, and pass inspection by a couple of rough looking dudes by the entrance.  Inside, it's dimly lit and there are a few girls, scantily clad, lounging around and looking bored.  A girl gets picked, her bored expression doesn't change, and the couple go to a dimly lit back room to conduct their business.  The place isn't dimly lit to increase the mood, it's darkened so it's harder to notice the dirty walls, the threadbare carpet, the tired looking girls, and the sheets that probably haven't been changed often enough.

The places were creepy and the women were entirely interested in money, just doing their jobs.  They were bored, unmotivated, uninterested, and mechanical.  Yeah, really gets the juices flowing, which is why I never partook when I was dragged around to these places in various countries.

In the poorer Asian countries it's massage parlors, pay a little extra for a happy ending.  In the more sophisticated areas of Asia it's bath houses (if I was ever going to break my rule and pay for sex, that's where I'd go).  In some areas of Europe it's red light districts.  In the Middle East it's all Eastern European women in a large block of apartments in the same building (yeah, tell me there's no human trafficking going on there).

Here it's buckets.

The first time I was in the backwaters of Greece I was very confused by the women who sit by the road on 5-gallon buckets in the middle of the day.  They look like they are watching a roadside vegetable stand or something but there's no stand.  It's just a woman on the side of the road, sitting on a bucket, maybe doing a crossword puzzle.  Are they're waiting on a ride or something?  But then, why bring a bucket instead of just standing there?

When I asked a buddy what the deal was he told me they were hookers.  Classy.

(Not pictured: they just stood up from their buckets outside the frame.  I didn't take this photo but I think I saw these two a couple days ago at a pull off for trucks.  These are two of the better looking ones I saw.)

And these aren't particularly attractive women, they look completely average.  They aren't showing off their wares, or even dressing to impress, they are just average women (though they all seemed middle aged and well used), most wearing jeans, sitting on buckets, and reading magazines.  What would inspire a man to stop and think "Man, I want to hit that", I have no idea.  You'd have to be pretty hard up to even look twice unless she was sitting a little too close to the road and you were worried about clipping her on the way past.

I think I need to start a charitable organization, "Business and Advertising courses to Maximize Revenue for Lower Income Entrepreneurs in Economically Difficult Environments."  Or in layman's terms, "How to Hook for Dummies".  How much more profit would the average local hooker make if she better advertised her assets?  Or developed some assets to begin with?  Maybe some free gym memberships could be offered, or at least seriously discounted... consider it investing in the local economy.

Now, before all you successful European hookers start sending me hate mail, I know there are some very attractive hookers around here that make a lot of money.  There are attractive hookers everywhere that make a lot of money.  There's always cream that rises to the top.  I'm talking about the highly visible hookers, the ones that literally line the roads in some places, the ones that could use a little sprucing up to increase their income potential.

Maybe that's the hook I need for my organization (pun intended), successful prostitutes helping out their less fortunate peers.  I could hold fundraisers and invite all the well-to-do hookers from the area.  If that doesn't bring out the men with deep pockets, I don't know what will.

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