Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Bucket List

I’ve seen bucket lists all over the place the last couple years.  They always seemed like an interesting idea but I never really sat down and came up with one of my own.
So, without further ado, my first attempt at a bucket list (in no particular order):
01. Meet Bruce Campbell
02. Visit all 7 Continents
03. Start my own Religion.
04. Write at least one Novel.
05. Save enough money to pay for my daughter’s college.
06. Road trip from Panama all the way up to Alaska (preferably by motorcycle).
07. Take a trip down the Amazon.
08. Go on a photo safari in Africa.
09. Visit the pyramids and other wonders of the world.
10. Drunkenly stumble into a cheerleader sleepover.
11. Go sky diving.
12. See Killer Whales in the wild.
13. Trick out a car like James Bond’s.
14. Meet Stephen King.
15. Get a tattoo on my ass while drunk in a foreign country.
16. Get in a bar fight.
17. Learn how to knit.
18. Run with the Bulls
19. Hitchhike across the United States.
20. Go to Mardi Gras, then Carnival in Rio De Jinero.
21. Visit Ankhor Wat.
22. Spend at least a month in a Buddhist Monastery.
23. Go to North By Northwest.
24. Write and direct a movie.
25. Visit Jim Morrison’s grave.
26. Go to the UK, see Ireland and Scotland.
27. Live in a commune.
28. Finish a Marathon in under four hours (tried and missed that mark already)
29. Go to Paris and visit the Louvre.
30. Climb a mountain.
31. Learn Arabic, then travel to a country where that’s the primary language.
32. Build a bad ass robot.
33. Invent something important.
34. Break a world record.
35. See all the natural wonders of the world.

That’s all I’ve come up with so far, but I’m sure this will be a work in progress.
Now, before you go thinking “Ha ha, Johnny Id has gone all soft!”  Go back through the list and add “while having wild, animal sex” to the end of each goal.  All except the “Live in a Buddhist Monastery”, that would kind of defeat the purpose.
I know, I know, it’s a ridiculously long list to read through again, but really, go back through the list and repeat the goal with “while having wild, animal sex” at the end.  I’ll wait right here for you.  It’s kind of like that game in Junior High where you add “in bed” to the end of every sentence, only less PG-13.
You didn’t go back through the list, did you?  I’m serious, I’ll wait right here until you do…
Go on…
Ok,  you did it?  I hope that helped put the proper Johnny Id spin to the bucket list.
bucket list kit
 (Johnny Id “Bucket List Kit”, Patent Pending)

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