Sunday, May 18, 2014

I really, really want to hate Justin Timberlake

As a general rule, I hate all famous pop figures.  I mean, if I saw Justin Bieber on the street I would have to fight the urge to run over and punch him in the face (maybe a bad example, I think a lot of people would feel the same).  Brittany Spears?  You might have to hold me back.  Adam Lambert?  Not entirely sure who he is, but I want to hit him too.  Kim Kardashian?  I still don’t understand why she’s famous, and thus deserves two punches in the face and a kick in the ass.  Miley Cirus?  I’d hit her if I didn’t feel so sorry for her parents.
There’s something so fake about all the really famous pop figures.  Sure, they can sing, they can dance, but they’re  like artificial people.  Everything they do is choreographed, photoshopped, focus grouped, marketed… there’s no artist left in being famous, it’s designed.  And yet they’re all so fucking rich.
And you know what’s worse than a pop star?  A pop star that also “acts”.  You can turn off a radio, but when they’re all over magazines, TV, and in the movie theaters it’s like being bombarded by meat puppets pushed by major corporations.  I swear, Disney is like a factory that pumps out stars.
Which brings us to Justin Timberlake.  He acts, he sings, he dances, he does comedy, he raps… he’s everywhere.  He checks all the boxes, he really should be at the top of the “Punch in the face” list.
Justin
And yet, somehow he isn’t.
Maybe it’s because he’s done so many Saturday Night Live performances like “Dick in a Box”.  Those are funny, but also show a sense of humility.  Almost as though he’s mocking his own fame.  He still has his sense of humor.  As though he somehow managed to maintain his humanity despite the odds.  I mean, look what all that shit did to Justin Bieber and Miley Cirus.  They’re totally fucked up.
Then, I happened to catch his appearance on Jimmy Fallon last night.  They did a “history of rap” bit, a dozen little patches of famous raps songs all tied in together.  It was funny but well done, and you can’t deny Timberlake’s a talented dude.  They were dancing, they were laughing, and Timberlake looked like a goofy kid just having a blast up there.  Not worried about looking “cool”, laughing at himself, it reminded me of some of the bits he did on SNL.  Despite everything, he just looked like a normal dude having a good time.
So, as much as I really, really want to hate Justin Timberlake… I just can’t do it.  I’m kind of disappointed in myself.
Wait…  Wait a minute, I actually do hate most of his music.  Ok, I feel a little bit better now.  Some of the hate balance in the Johnny Id universe has been restored.

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