Friday, May 30, 2014

One More Reason to Hate Facebook

I hate a lot of things.  I’m a crotchety old man, hate is what keeps the ticker pumping.  Ok, I’m not really a crotchety old man but I feel like it sometimes, and hate is an amazing inspiration for blog posts.
I hate Facebook, I’m never on Facebook, and the only reason I haven’t deleted the account is because of the dozen or so friends that don’t call/text/email anymore, they just send messages on Facebook.  If it wasn’t for them, my account would have disappeared years ago.
Facebook is one of the many things that I think is dooming modern society.  It’s the perfect way to waste time and receive absolutely no benefit from it.  Oh, sure, you can message Great Aunt Suzie in her old folks home, that’s cool, right?  Why don’t you call Great Aunt Suzie, send her a package, or go visit?
Facebook is like a fake world that somehow has tricked people into thinking it has some value.  And most updates are total bullshit.  I don’t give a fuck what you ate for breakfast.  Oh, those tacos for lunch were a bad idea.  Oh, look at me reposting a De-motivational poster.  Hee hee.  Hanging with the homies at the mall.  Why the fuck do I care?
I recently signed up for a function on Facebook where they would text my phone if I got a message.  This seemed like a perfect solution since I hate actually going to the Facebook site.  Now, I don’t have to wade through all the bullshit.  If someone sends me a message I get it on my phone, completely avoiding having to go to the site.  Facebook making it easier to stay off Facebook, awesome right?
Well, I didn’t realize that giving Facebook permission to text my phone meant that I would be getting other texts too.  For example, when I don’t log in to Facebook often enough, I get texts like this:
“You friends have posted 357 updates this week.  Reply to post your own status on Facebook or go to blah-blah-blah (link to Facebook Mobile)”
These texts come two or three times a week and every single time I have to fight the urge to throw my phone across the room.
Hate Facebook
I DON’T FUCKING CARE HOW MANY RETARDED UPDATED MY FRIENDS MADE THIS WEEK!!  IF I DID, I WOULD HAVE LOGGED IN AND LOOKED AT THE FUCKING SITE!!!  LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE!!
And now I can’t figure out how to turn them off.
Now, I hate Facebook even more.  I didn’t think that was possible.

No comments:

Post a Comment