Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Follow up to awkward story

So, writer chick from the last post (the one that almost saw my new fleshlight) was somewhat intriguing so I decided to learn a bit more about her.  I was trying to figure out whether she was interesting enough to pursue romantically.  I knew she was a little off the wall, we had similar interests, and she was staying with her parents for a couple months before heading back to the east coast.  I also knew she definitely wasn't long term material but thought maybe she could be some fun while she was here on vacation.  I'm also always interested in connecting with other writers that I respect, so even if vacation sex was taken off the table she could still be worth knowing for other reasons.  During out meeting one of the other writers described her work in glowing terms, over and over.  I was curious so I did a little research.

There were pieces of hers up on a couple different sites.

I'm really a very generous reader, I give people a lot of credit for even trying but, oh my god, she's a terrible writer.  It was sooooo bad.  Her characters were flat, descriptions were almost nonexistent, the dialog was terrible, and there were adverbs everywhere, which isn't a hard rule but shows laziness in the writer.

When we were at this meeting she went on and on about all the projects she's got going, the scope of the story, the motivations and characters.  She seemed pretty legitimate.  Well, apparently she's one of those types that talks the talk but that's about it.  And these weren't first drafts that I found, these were "finished" chapters for a novel she's getting ready to publish.

She set her book in a post-disaster, sci-fi future then named her characters after "found objects".  Board, nail, book, etc.  That might work in a movie, a la The Postman, but in a book it's retarded.  The way it was written it was like reading a bad play set in a hardware store.

(simulated excerpt)
"What did you think of breakfast?" asked Board slyly.
"It was fine," said Nail with a wink.
"What are we going to do today?" asked Board with a smile.
"We're going for a walk," replied Nail conspicuously.
Board nodded.  Yes, a walk would be good, he thought strangely.

It was awful.

So, why am I writing about all this?  Because it led me to ask myself a somewhat funny question: could I sleep with a cute young woman that's a terrible writer?


Nope?  Not even casually?  Nada.  No way.  Not going to happen.

That answer surprised me.  Overweight, no problem.  Big nose, sure.  Has a funny laugh, no big deal.  Different religion/ethnicity/whatever, sure.  Married, single mother, divorced, separated, yeah.  Older, younger, more experienced, less, all good.  I keep a pretty open mind when it comes to women, each one can be fun in their own way.  I went down the list and I don't really have any hard lines, it's all flexible, but I can't sleep with an attractive woman that's bad writer?  Nope.

Personally, I find that fucking hilarious.  Of all the places for my cock to make a stand, bad writers it is.

Granted, it's slightly more complicated than that.  She's not just a hobbyist, she's a "Writer".  To me, there's a big difference between someone who likes to write and someone who is a "Writer".  It's kind of like the difference between a lazy guy and a hipster.  The lazy guy is being himself, the hipster is doing it deliberately.  She doesn't just like to write, she loves the idea of being a "Writer".  She loves the "Writer" persona.  She wears quirky clothes, tries to be a black sheep, talks about writing all the time, wears artsy earrings, wears a scarf (it's fucking hot here, no one wears scarves) and is totally, 100% dedicated to her work.  And her work sucks.

To me, if you're that dedicated to something than you should have done the research, put in the time, mastered the basics, etc.  We all have things that we can improve on but the mistakes that she made were just so... elementary.  It's like someone who spends ten years going to school for music but not being able to play "twinkle twinkle".  What the heck were they doing for ten years?  How can you spend so much time and effort doing something and yet still be terrible at it, unless you never really put in the time and effort?  It's easy to say you've written a masterpiece, a lot fucking harder to put in the elbow grease to actually do it.

So, me rejecting her work is basically a rejection of her entire being.  But the whole situation amused me so much that I just had to write about it.


  1. I totally get this. I had the same in reverse over the weekend. An acquaintance of mine actually became a little MORE attractive to me because I found out he writes. I've never actually dated a guy who writes either. While I don't know if he is good or bad, I am assuming it must be decent as he headed up a writers group. Plus it helps the fantasy to assume he is good. ;-) --- Guess in your case it's best to know now, especially if it's a deal breaker.

    1. Oh yes, definitely better to know now. I imagine dating her for a week or so, she asks me to read something of hers, I doubt I could hide my disgust. Lol. Good for you, writers are sexy. Well, at least the good ones. ;)