Monday, March 9, 2015

Observed First Date

So, I’m at the coffee shop where I normally go to write and I find myself distracted by the patrons.  This shop is never busy, that’s why I come here.  Today, there are two people in particular drawing my attention.


Have you ever seen a couple that are obviously on their first date?  Yeah…


This particular couple irritates me. I really want to walk up to this chick, shake her, and tell her to go home and lose his number.


I’ve mentioned to you readers a few times that I’m pretty good at reading people and situations, and what I see this afternoon is so irksome that it's distracting me.


The Guy.  I capitalized guy on purpose because that’s what he is, he’s such a guy-ish guy that the word needed to be properly emphasized.  Outgrown frat-boy more like it.  He wore swim trunks, sandals, and a surf t-shirt to a first date.  He’s wearing aviator sunglasses.  Ladies, Aviators are often the first sign of a douche bag.


Additionally, for those of you who have been in the military, everything about him screams young “officer”.  He’s like one of those junior officers that graduated from some big name military school, probably played a sport for them, got his commission, just arrived at his first station and thinks he’s hot shit.  I’m not a particularly objective perspective but he’s in shape and fairly attractive. (Just over heard him mention the army and getting called “sir”, totally nailed him.)


The woman.  She’s laid back, well groomed, takes care of herself.  She’s attractive in that way of some women that don’t have to try very hard, don’t do themselves up and don’t have to.  It’s a very genuine kind of pretty and her personality is attractive, that’s what comes through.  She kind of gives off a new-age-hippy vibe, laid back and personable.  And she’s totally into him.

Hang tight, we're getting to the irksome stuff, this is just setting the scene.


The body language.  I’m not sure if you've heard this one yet, people tend to angle their body and, more specifically, their feet toward the focus of their attention.  When two people are interested in each other they tend to face each other, even when in a group of other people.  Look at their feet and you can tell a lot about who’s paying more attention to who.


The Guy has his feet up on another seat (who puts their feet up on a date???  Ladies, in case it isn’t obvious, that’s not cool).  She’s seated facing him, they’re perpendicular.  She’s totally focused on him, he’s not focused on her… or is he?  The conversation doesn’t match the body language.  There’s lots of eye contact, fast words, he’s absolutely paying attention to her and doing “accidental” things like flexing his arms to show off.


So, why the discrepancy between attention and body language?


This is what I’m seeing, he’s playing it “cool” and acting like he’s not interested.  Everything about him from what he’s wearing to body language says he doesn’t take this date seriously.  T-shirt and sandals, putting his feet up, it’s almost juvenile.  He’s playing distant, unmoved, like he could be somewhere else but just doesn't feel like moving and she happens to be here.  He’s very interested but trying not to show it.  It’s like those games kids play in high school or college, whoever is less interested is “winning”.  If he acts like she’s not important, like she’s replaceable, than he has the leverage or vice versa.  She’s open, honest, and not playing at all.  But she doesn’t see what he’s doing and is falling for it.  Douchebags with game give all men a bad name.


He’s talking about beer pong now.  Jesus.  Some people just embody stereotypes.


Arg, I want to shake her.

Why couldn’t the coffee shop have been empty today?  

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