Thursday, April 30, 2015

CV on our sleeves

You ever have one of those days when you feel like everyone in the world is stupid?  A bunch of self-centered pricks?  And what's worse is when they decide they need to share their wisdom by providing advice, either online or in real life.

That got me to thinking, There are so many bloggers out there that provide advice about relationships, life, and just about everything under the sun, myself included.  But should they?

If you were going to get financial advice, you'd want to see someone with qualifications, experience, and with a lot of financial success.  You'd want to see degrees on the wall, a nice car parked out front, and a suit that isn't off the rack.  You'd want to know they're the right person to give you advice.  They need to be a representation of the place you want to be.  They've made it, so they can advise you on how to make it.  On the other hand, if you showed up and noticed a bunch of overdue bills on the desk, an eviction notice on the door, you probably wouldn't take the financial advice very seriously.

What would the our virtual world be like if bloggers that provided advice had to post a CV, demonstrate their experiences, show their qualifications.  For all you Americans that don't recognize the term, CV stands for Curriculum Vitae.  It's basically an expansive resume.

If the blogger in question is giving relationship advice, we should know they represent that place we want to be, right?  They should be a success story if they're going to advise others on how to succeed, right?  They should be happily ensconced in whatever kind of relationship they're advising about.  If they're giving poly advice they should be in a successful poly situation, if they're giving straight dating advice they should have their own success story.  If we know they're single and miserable, would you take their advice seriously?  Should you?  Or should they be more of a cautionary tale, every word taken with a grain of salt?

That also made me think.  I've provided a lot of advice over the years, but should anyone take me seriously?  I'm intelligent, educated, have a good job and decent relationships with my family...  But I'm also a lonely curmudgeon, divorced, sarcastic, critical of society in general and most people in specific, bored, dissatisfied with life, and drinks too much.  I wear all of those badges with pride, yet that doesn't make for a healthy mind and I'm certainly no success story.

The only rationale I could offer to justify anyone taking my advice is that it's often easier to see problems from the outside.  We can see the mistakes that others make easier than they can, easier than we can see our own.  It's also a lot easier to give advice than it is to follow it yourself.  Healer, heal thy self.  We're all fucked up, otherwise we probably wouldn't be blogging, or reading blogs, to begin with.

I guess the only point to all of this is know your sources and read every piece of advice with a critical mind.  Even mine.


  1. Some of the best, life-changing advice I got was from someone whose life was (and still is) a train wreck. She was one of those who was definitely much better at seeing other people's solutions than she was at implementing her own solutions.

  2. Must be something in the air this week. There's been a lot of crazies putting in their two cents in all forms of media. It makes me angry sometimes, but I also really question the person I'm standing next to in the grocery is going on in somebody's head? They actually believe the bs their putting out there. Scary really. As far as bloggers go, who cares? Anybody can give advice. Even the most skilled and qualified individual can suck at determining problems/solutions. I love your blog and if I decide to follow your advice, I'll heed your relative "don't try this at home, but if you do, don't blame me" advice.....

  3. "I'm also a lonely curmudgeon, divorced, sarcastic, critical of society in general and most people in specific, bored, dissatisfied with life, and drinks too much." --- I think this makes you an expert in my book. Darkness is the only balance for light.